Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire

Thursday, February 14, 2019

LOVE- An overly misused term with underrated feelings ....

On this Valentine's Day, why not let us talk about love today. So a very Happy Valentine"s day to all those who are taken, almost taken, taken for granted, assumed to be taken and those who are never seriously taken.

There'a beautiful saying by Mr John Lennon,

" There are two basic motivations in our life, FEAR & LOVE. When we are afraid, we pull back from life and when we are in love, we are open to all that life has to offer us with passion, excitement and acceptance. "

Well for me love is a kind of divine dessert which has key ingredients of respect, trust, passion, care, growth and above all a pious contentment.
It may sound obnoxious to many of you out there, but the fact remains same that in today's world LOVE is an overly misused term for people having an underrated intensity of it.
First of all, love has nothing to do with a person to whom YOU LOVE, it's purely the reflection of your own persona the way you love somebody. When your feelings depend on the other person's conduct, personality or nature its a sheer form of attraction, infatuation, a sort of connecting, a fondness or even attachments for that matter ( higher step ). You won't call it a love for love is limitless, an infinite space, a divinity & a spirituality. To love someone or to be loved by someone is the easiest way to feel the blessings from that almighty.
Let me now elaborate my point that what majority of you feel or experience is not actually a LOVE.

Two people immensely "in love" marry each other and then after a few years got divorced. Why two people initially in love then getting divorced. How suddenly love has vanished from their lives?
The answer is that it wasn't LOVE. It was basically their need of each other which was primary initially but now holds no significance.
Similarly, many of us are dependent on others to feel happy, content, complete or constantly need validations from others to actually feel good about oneself. In a process, we forget to look within ourselves and analyse that what is it that makes us happy. What is it that will give me a sense of satisfaction even if I am alone and don't want another person to suffice any sort of needs of mine.
We are not satisfied people for every now or then when our one desire gets fulfilled we are ready with one more to dream of and strive for fulfilling it in order to feel satisfied. And for this, we need another person who can complete us and fits into our needs bed. And like any other desire when certain sort of needs with that person gets fulfilled, our feelings for that person no longer remain constant. And that's when conflicts arise and people head towards separations, break-ups or divorces.
Love is constant and unconditional, it never changes with time or change in the circumstances.
Love doesn't have breakups or divorces.
If you truly love someone, you will continue to have the same intensity for that person throughout. Love is also there in separations, still there even if another person is not physically with you. Still there without marrying that person and yet there, even the other person marries someone else because true love doesn't even need marriage for its validations or certifications. He /She would always remain part of your very existence and would never get separated by your innermost being or your core i.e. I. As love has no boundaries, one can never restrict love and nonetheless, its not so impossible for that person to not getting attracted to someone else while loving someone so deeply because getting attracted to somebody is a matter of hormonal fluctuations and its absolutely okay to feel this way. Problems arise when you try to bind love with the ribbon of commitment. And when you try to do this in your so-called 'love relationship', there comes a storm of conflicts, possessiveness, jealousies and separations( in worst cases ) as your relationship never had the solid foundation as a ' true love ' has. Love has no commitments; commitment and marriage are the terms used to get approvals from the society's set list of criteria. Love has no form or shape and its everlasting till infinity. We often have reasons why we love somebody like ' he is smart', ' she is sexy', ' he is jovial', ' she has beautiful eyes ' so and so forth. It is not the love guys for love has no REASONS. Perhaps, that's why they say that LOVE IS BLIND.

To be in love is far different than to do love. Loving without reason is what you say being in love.

So now the question arises is there nobody on this earth in this time and age who is in true love and not just a victim of dopamine surge????

Well, I am gonna answer this.

He who has discovered himself, he who is in love with himself first and he who feels complete, secure and emotionally independent within himself is the person who can truly love someone unconditionally.
This is because of the fact that only he can deliver love to others who himself is full of love, optimism and contentment.
He who has the courage and intent to accept the other person in whatever way he/she is, is the person who knows how to be progressive and natural in love.
A person who is not dependent on another person for the fulfilment of his needs and who can experience love in its purest form is the person who is capable of rendering love to someone else.
The one who is dissatisfied and feels incomplete within himself, in turn, becomes selfish and self-centred and deals with his all relationships in a similar fashion, such a person can never love somebody. For him, love would always be a misunderstood affair.

So a person who experiences the same kind of contentment and a sense of completeness  ( here I am not talking about joy, elation, excitement, thrill, etc, etc ) sitting alone in the home as when he is with his partner in an exotic foreign trips , is the person who can truly love unconditionally.

He is the one who understands the term LOVE and values it to the core.