Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Take CHARGE of Your MIND

"The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence."
                       - J.Krishnamurti

Accept it or not but we all, to a certain extent, have the fear of being judged by others. And this fear, in most of the cases, is directly proportional to our ages. This means that as we grow and lead our lives, the fear of being judged grows with us too.

Let me elaborate with an interesting example.
When a baby is born, he fears nothing. And that is why we need to constantly give attention to what he is up to and to where is he crawling. This is because he doesn't know what fear is. Hence, babies are the most carefree, cheerful, fun-loving and peaceful souls. This is, therefore, the main reason why we look at them in envy and say, "Childhood is the Best" as it is free from any kind of fear and above all the fear of being judged by others.

Remember fear, along with many other traits, is something which we acquire as we grow. And so does this fear of being judged, is the acquired one as well borne out of our insecurities, vulnerabilities, rejections, unpleasant experiences, societal pressures, so on and so forth.

We always want and cherish the 4A's i.e. Attention, Acknowledgement, Acceptance, and Appreciation from people around us. We just strive to execute perfect things at the perfect place at the perfect time so that we achieve what is above said.
But have you ever given a thought by Whom?
These are the same people who judge you. Who feels sufficed on you being judged wrongly every time so that they could feel superior. These are the people who never miss a chance to demean you or let you down so that they can get an upper hand on the situations. No matter how hard you tried to be good to them or made them happy, they continue to be judging you for every worst possible reason.

Generally, it is observed that whenever someone judges you, you take it on yourselves and consequently dive into a situation where you feel a constant sense of shame and guilt especially when it comes from people you considered your near and dear ones. You start figuring out what went wrong and ways to redeem yourselves.

This is the time when you should take charge of your mind and understand that there are many relationships or acquaintanceship which are surface-levelled i.e. you cannot make deep connections with everyone. In such a scenario, if anybody is making any sort of judgement about you, holds no significance as they are unaware of your inner self, vulnerabilities and the type of person you are. Thus, any judgement from such people should not bother you at all.

And if it is coming from a person close to you who is familiar with your true self and probably knows you in a better way, then it is a blessing in disguise for you to use that opportunity and improve yourself where it is needed. Here too, you need to know the cause and outcome of the existing behaviour of yours which led your close ones to point out you for and pass their judgement.

Many times people judge you with the purpose of criticism which gives them ultimate pleasure. Recognizing such people in your lives is very important as you would never wish to get the 4 A's by such people. You ought not to feel bad on them demeaning you rather, have pity on such a mindset where the only way they derive contentment and happiness is by sadistic nature of disgracing you.

Remember people's behaviour and actions are inward perceptions of who they actually are and how they see the world they live in. It is solely an insight into how they structure and shape their way of living. Hence, nothing is meant to be given consideration when such people pass judgement on you as it is baseless, non-factual and reflection of their personalities.

Know your self-worth and remember as long as you are ethically good, unbiased, practical and true to your body of work and to people around you, fear of being judged should not stop you achieving your goals and the type of life you have always dreamt of.

Also, it holds vice-versa for you as well. Many a time, you pass judgements on others just by default or in a casual approach. You don't realise in which conditions another person has taken the respective decision. You shouldn't be in a hurry to be conclusive of situations you weren't part of and throw your judgements as well.

As I have observed people are always willing to share their true self only to those who try to understand them by being purely non-judgemental. So be the one for:

"Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances."
                        - Dyer