ThE_PhOEniX_sOuL

Be fearless in pursuit of what sets your soul on fire

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Significance of CONFRONTATIONS

Significance of CONFRONTATIONS

There are many times in our life when we have so many things to say, to share, to let another person know about it and so on. But we choose to stay numb about it and wouldn't confront it out of fear of hurting the latter, being misunderstood by others or perhaps losing ones we care about in worst scenario. Whatever might be the reason but it is a bitter truth of our lives that we do fear to some extent in making CONFRONTATIONS.  

 As we prefer in being quiet about things and don't confront, the outcome is a state of mind where we feel irritated, frustrated, guilty, emotionally fragile and tonnes of emotions get stripped apart in our minds pertaining to the false assumptions in regard to another person's reaction to our confrontation.

 You not only fear in verbally communicating what is going inside you but also bar yourself in confronting what you actually feel about the situation or the person for that matter. Usually, get anxious or nervous and stressed out whenever you have to confide or confront anything. You don't want people to think ill of you or hurt anyone. You choose not to confront so that you shouldn't be labelled as someone who is too pushy. By this way, you kind of continue being submissive, introvert and one who conceals his feelings from others.

 Often times it also happens that person whom you want to confront things to might be waiting for you to make the first move so then he gets that ground to start with his side of confrontations for which perhaps he was hesitant too. In such a case, it becomes a complicated relationship where there are layers of accumulated emotions striving to vent out but no release whatsoever.

WHAT EXACTLY CAUSES LACK OF CONFRONTATION ??


  • It generally happens when a person had a past experience where he might have tried confronting and the outcome would have been unpleasant or disagreeable. Things would have blown out of proportion or might turn out to be a mud-slinging.

  • It is also not so uncommon where the person had encountered situations in his life or childhood environment when somebody else's confrontations made things worse and turned out to a conflict amongst family members. So this person now chooses to be rather quiet about things in order to be in his illusory peace.

  • It is generally borne out of lower self-esteem and poor self-confidence which inculcates the fear of being alone or abandoned by others on making confrontations. Such a person never wants any sort of disagreement or disappointment from others.

  • This person is altogether unaware of the importance of confrontations which generally give rise to healthy discussions. He feels that confronting things to others would only fetch him with arguments, clashes and fights.

  • You don't care about yourself and keep others over what you feel and desire. This attitude is either a result of selflessness (which is too rare nowadays) or you are amongst the lot of people-pleasers.

IT GENERALLY RESULTS IN:


  • When you choose not to confront, you are just harming yourself as you are suppressing what you naturally feel and eventually become a person who carries an abundance of confusions, chaos, commotions and resentments.

  • Suppressing your natural self over a period of time would ultimately manifest as other worst faces of aggression, irritability, anxiety, frustrations, poorer self-confidence, marred self-esteem and in worst cases depression.

  • Your self-doubts increase and you become all the more sluggish to confront things which consequently hamper your personality and self-growth.

  • You might choose not to confront in order to not make others upset but in reality, such a person is unattractive and considered weak by others as latter find him subservient.

HOW TO RISE ABOVE THE FEAR OF CONFRONTATION ??


  • As I always say and practice is the Self-Love. Take care of yourself by venting out things that bother you and confront those who are concerned with it. Be upfront, confident and extrovert. Feel good about you and the way you are. Confront fearlessly.

  • Explicit confrontations not only de-pressurises you but also helps in knowing the true self of the person involved as one with pure intent, the maturity of mind and having a true bond with you would always understand and support you. You don't have to be articulated to do confrontations. You just have to be assertive and don't sound rude or harsh.

  • Be courageous in taking a stand for yourself as a person who has the gumption to sift just from unjust is always respected by others no matter whether others show it or not.

  • Even though it might sometimes appear arrogance and "I don't care" attitude to others but a person who strongly puts forth his point is always considered attractive and bold.

  • It does create good vibes and healthy energy by being free of assumptions, grudges, resentments and suffocation by means of healthy confrontations. It is thus one of the basic foundations of the strong relationship of any kind.

  • It not only builds a happy and healthy relationship but also helps in becoming an improved version of oneself.

  • Whatever would be the reaction of the other person to your confrontation, trust me, you would feel so alluring and elevated at the end of the day as you have confronted something which at the beginning seemed difficult and daunting task to execute.

 Remember, confrontations hold a very strong significance in your lives for any sort of relationship and it does have a much positive impact as well. It leads to a breakthrough in any true and pure bond. It not only transforms the relationship by making it all the more stronger and better but also you as a person. It makes you feel contended and succeeded as you did it by confronting how and what you have felt for the things or for the person in general. You eventually feel strong and happy.

 So guys just don't wait for situations or people around you to be the way you wanted them to be for making healthy confrontations. Just go ahead and do it for nothing but your peace of mind.

 GOOD LUCK !!
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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

SELF LOVE - ABC of the love with one's self.

SELF LOVE - ABC of the love with one's self.

"Loving oneself isn't vanity. It's sanity."
                                                                  - Andre Gide.

 All you wonderful people out there reading this post have definitely time and again read and heard about the term 'SELF-LOVE'. 
Many of you are already in the path of practising it while a lot of you still wonders what if it appears to others as a gesture of self-obsession?

 Well, self-love is way more different than self-obsession as a person with self-love has an immense love and respect for oneself the way there are and will become in coming times. Such a person's love for himself is irrespective of what others think and it is a much deeper connection to oneself wheres self-obsession is superfluous and concerned to the outward appearance of oneself and is much to do with the person's image in the eyes of others. Self-love can never harm others intentionally in a process but self-obsession has an intent of selfishness which could be dangerous to others at some time.
Below is an ABC of what I call THE SELF-LOVE.

  • Accept the fact that no one is perfect, so ain't you and hence love the way you are without trying to be harsh on yourself in a process of achieving perfection.

  • Be upfront and outspoken for things you believe in. Be courageous enough to speak the truth without worrying about your image in others' eyes.

  • Compliment yourself often with every bit of trait you behold within you, whether good, bad, sexy, ugly etc, etc. so that you don't feel a need for others to do so.

  • Do whatever you feel like provided it should fit into ethical and right domains. Do not fear to be different and out of the box.

  • Engage yourself in physical exercises, yoga, or any other recreational activities not to achieve a sleek and slender body but to attain a healthy being.

  • Find the place where you feel happy, comfortable and at best with your own self. A place where you are not stressed out and is at peace with yourself as well as your surroundings.

  • Get a life for yourself by coming out of the shadows of your dark past, learning from it, enjoy every bit of your present and welcome the future with open arms full of fortunes and prosperity.

  • Have a spiritual outlook towards different aspects of life as well. Meditate and try to keep yourself calm at times when needed.

  • Initiate the magic of forgiveness in your lives. It is not for others who hurt you but is a tool for happiness for your self.

  • Just stop judging yourself for the things you do, the way you feel, the way you look or the way in which you handle your life. Being judgemental for yourself is as bad as for others.

  • Keep the desire to learn and grow alive in your self. Remember you are never that wise to not learn new things in life and never that old to defy growth.

  • Listen to your guts and believe the power of intuition. Trust me it always helps in the required times.

  • Maintain boundaries in your life. It is very important for you to set and maintain these as it is observed that people who follow these prevent being taken granted or disrespected by others.

  • Never compare your self with others. Everyone has his own life path and experiences. When God himself created different beings, how can two people share the same sort of success, failure, joys, grief, gains, losses, etc?

  • Optimize your strengths, work on them and make them the basis of leading an optimistic life.

  • Pamper yourself whenever you feel taken aback or stressed out. Go for movies, shopping, spa or opt for any other ways to rejuvenate your inner self.

  • Quintessential style, grace, class and elegance should be the way you feel yourself and hence carry yourself with. And it not always has to do with the monetary aspect. It is the way you see yourself in your eyes.

  • Responsibility of your happiness is utterly in your hand. Start taking it for your own good and stop relying on others for the same.

  • Start spending time alone with your self. You will surely begin to love yourself the moment you find your company the best to hang out with. It is not only great for self-love but also makes you assess and evaluate your self and improvise where is required.

  • Try to 'let go' things which are involuntary and not in our hands. Some things are better to be forgotten or left onto time than to scratch your heads over these.

  • Understand what your heart wants. Practice the art of self- awareness, only then you would start loving your self. It is irrelevant and almost impractical to try attaining self-love without self-awareness and self-realisation.

  • Virtuously lead your life and learn to figure out what are the different things you should include in your life which would work best for you and fetch you good results in the long run.

  • Work towards your goals passionately and with all your efforts as hard work with sincerity never goes in vain.

  • Xenial attitude towards one's body. Always feel confident in your skin. Also, work hard to achieve the kind of body you expect from yourself but never demean or disgrace it just because you are not a zero figure chic.

  • Yearning for always be righteous and correct is really being hypothetical. It is okay to commit mistakes. Learn from it and move on.

  • Zero down the negativity both inside as well as outside of yourself. Surround yourself with a good community of people who not only bring positivity but also encourage you to be a better person.
Self-love is not a magic that happens overnight, it is an art which needs constant practice. And it can only be achieved when you try to incorporate the above-said in your life a bit by bit and a day by day. Try to focus on your life and know your worth as Self-worth is penultimate to self-love.
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Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Take CHARGE of Your MIND

Take CHARGE of Your MIND

"The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence."
                       - J.Krishnamurti

 Accept it or not but we all, to a certain extent, have the fear of being judged by others. And this fear, in most of the cases, is directly proportional to our ages. This means that as we grow and lead our lives, the fear of being judged grows with us too.

 Let me elaborate with an interesting example.
When a baby is born, he fears nothing. And that is why we need to constantly give attention to what he is up to and to where is he crawling. This is because he doesn't know what fear is. Hence, babies are the most carefree, cheerful, fun-loving and peaceful souls. This is, therefore, the main reason why we look at them in envy and say, "Childhood is the Best" as it is free from any kind of fear and above all the fear of being judged by others.

 Remember fear, along with many other traits, is something which we acquire as we grow. And so does this fear of being judged, is the acquired one as well borne out of our insecurities, vulnerabilities, rejections, unpleasant experiences, societal pressures, so on and so forth.

 We always want and cherish the 4A's i.e. Attention, Acknowledgement, Acceptance, and Appreciation from people around us. We just strive to execute perfect things at the perfect place at the perfect time so that we achieve what is above said.
But have you ever given a thought by Whom?
These are the same people who judge you. Who feels sufficed on you being judged wrongly every time so that they could feel superior. These are the people who never miss a chance to demean you or let you down so that they can get an upper hand on the situations. No matter how hard you tried to be good to them or made them happy, they continue to be judging you for every worst possible reason.

 Generally, it is observed that whenever someone judges you, you take it on yourselves and consequently dive into a situation where you feel a constant sense of shame and guilt especially when it comes from people you considered your near and dear ones. You start figuring out what went wrong and ways to redeem yourselves.

 This is the time when you should take charge of your mind and understand that there are many relationships or acquaintanceship which are surface-levelled i.e. you cannot make deep connections with everyone. In such a scenario, if anybody is making any sort of judgement about you, holds no significance as they are unaware of your inner self, vulnerabilities and the type of person you are. Thus, any judgement from such people should not bother you at all.

 And if it is coming from a person close to you who is familiar with your true self and probably knows you in a better way, then it is a blessing in disguise for you to use that opportunity and improve yourself where it is needed. Here too, you need to know the cause and outcome of the existing behaviour of yours which led your close ones to point out you for and pass their judgement.

 Many times people judge you with the purpose of criticism which gives them ultimate pleasure. Recognizing such people in your lives is very important as you would never wish to get the 4 A's by such people. You ought not to feel bad on them demeaning you rather, have pity on such a mindset where the only way they derive contentment and happiness is by sadistic nature of disgracing you.

 Remember people's behaviour and actions are inward perceptions of who they actually are and how they see the world they live in. It is solely an insight into how they structure and shape their way of living. Hence, nothing is meant to be given consideration when such people pass judgement on you as it is baseless, non-factual and reflection of their personalities.

 Know your self-worth and remember as long as you are ethically good, unbiased, practical and true to your body of work and to people around you, fear of being judged should not stop you achieving your goals and the type of life you have always dreamt of.

 Also, it holds vice-versa for you as well. Many a time, you pass judgements on others just by default or in a casual approach. You don't realise in which conditions another person has taken the respective decision. You shouldn't be in a hurry to be conclusive of situations you weren't part of and throw your judgements as well.
As I have observed people are always willing to share their true self only to those who try to understand them by being purely non-judgemental. So be the one for:

 "Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances."
                        - Dyer



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Saturday, May 11, 2019

BEING EMPATHETIC------- A Curse or A Blessing?

BEING EMPATHETIC------- A Curse or A Blessing?

"If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours."
                                                                            - Dolly Parton

 Ever since I remember, I have been a true EMPATH throughout my life. Not only an empath but the one with a highly sensitive nature.
However, I have started realising the regrettable outcomes of it lately and hereby just thought why not pour my heart out to let you guys even know about how it feels being an empath and deal with people around you.

 Empath- very naturally get in tune with how others feel and hence, is able to experience people's energy at a very deep level.
Gets drained out very easily in situations which are unpleasant and nasty while becomes overwhelmed and highly emotional in ones which are joyous or sensitive in nature.

 He is able to feel akin to what others feel and is loyal, loving and optimistic with respect to considering the others are right and just too and thus, everyone around them deserves good.

 While these are amazing qualities to have but the downfall with this kind of person is that he considers everyone around like him which turns out to be a false-faith fo them. Thereby making them the prime targets for being taken granted of as well as abuse (physical, mental, emotional, ethical, financial,etc.).

 Just because an empath feels so deeply with all love, compassion and concern, he often overlooks the dark sides of people around him probably by finding out one or the other reason behind their actions and falls back to them with equal intensity of love and compassion. Meanwhile, people have their own set of excuses to give to him which he eventually gets convinced of and this marks the beginning of the never-ending cycle of use and abuse. And his caregiving and loving nature become the reason for his resentment and grief.

 An empath is easily recognizable by narcissists and the latter considers the former a weak and co-dependent but they forget that it takes a huge amount of strength in being an empathetically driven person in the world full of narcissists.
Being a natural giver as well as a forgiver in a relationship, an empath is usually taken for granted as he is not the one to give up on relationships easily and this is how the cycle of use and abuse continues till the time either the empath calls off the relation or another person discontinues his unethical and mean ways of leading the relation. Until this point, the empath becomes so mentally exhausted or traumatized by again and again going through the same stuff where the other person first makes use of him and later gives him the false hope, love and faith of being nice and just to them. It is an effortless moulding of the empath by such person due to the loyal nature of the former.

 Empath leads a life of confusion where his mind is able to evaluate the malicious ways of narcissists around him but his heart still holds love, compassion and loyalty for them. Despite being aware of the malevolent intentions of others, the empath continues to be supportive, helpful and loyal to them which altogether backfires his integrity and that is something very distressing and awful to experience.
Simple ways by which an EMPATH can protect their souls from being quashed:
  • Be empathetic but keep that in check.

  • Self-love is prime.

  • Let another person earn empathy. Dole it out sagaciously onto others. Never show to them who don't value it.

  • Being empathetic doesn't indicate only giving. Keep your selflessness in control and shower it only where it is actually needed.

  • Learn to make boundaries and set limitations to your natural care-giving attitude. Understand each and every individual is different and not how and what you perceive.

  • Don't exhibit your vulnerable side to ones who don't deserve to be that close to you. Prevent them from making use of the same.

  • Be vigilant enough to understand and recognize such people to whom you consider sweet and lovable who, in reality, are parasites feeding on your compassion.

  • Don't get flattered to the sugar-coated conduct. Never compromise with your dignity and integrity. Take stand as and when required.

  • Cherish meaningful relations and friendships. Never overlook or ignore the demon of selfishness in others.

  • Stop being bullied in the name of empathy. Do not hesitate to be alone with dignity at the cost of losing narcissists from your life because having the companionship of such people is worse than being alone.

As I draw to an end of this post, I would not be ashamed of admitting it that BEING EMPATHETIC IS A BLESSING.
And I AM PROUD TO BE ONE for I am being one but without the sense of co-dependency.
I am a healthy empath who knows boundaries and very well aware of each person's space in my life which I constantly value, respect, nurture and cherish. I know when to withdraw myself from any bitter space and stand out for my dignity even if it is standing alone for that matter.

And my urge to everyone like me is no less than that.
Be a healthy empath and love yourself first because, in today's world, you need to show others your worth as everyone is in a rate race of making him superior over others. 

BE A LOTUS IN YOUR LIFE AS THEY SAY:

"THE UGLIER THE MUCK IT GROWS IN, THE BEAUTIFUL THE FLOWER IS."











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Wednesday, May 8, 2019

EXPECTATIONS

EXPECTATIONS

For humans, the basis of our any relationship is nothing but the EXPECTATIONS. 
What kind of husband you expect?
What kind of wife you expect?
What is expected out of your kids? so on and so forth.

 And we too, intentionally or unintentionally are able to love only those who fulfil or nearly fulfil our expectations. (For true or unconditional love is too rare as it does not have any space for EXPECTATIONS).

 Practically, in today's world, there would hardly be any being who has achieved a ZERO-STATE OF EXPECTATIONS.

 However, expectations are destined to be shattered or broken as these are what we give rise to. These are pure reflections of our longings and needs which take birth in conscious or subconscious levels of our minds. Then, this is being reflexively imposed on another person in any relationship. And since the other person is not GOD or a saint to be able to recognize these, the majority of times, the end result is unfulfillment of expectations and hence frustrations.

 One more reality of expectations is that no matter how much another person tries to live up to these, he won't be able to do it completely because expectations are immortal.
These can change their shape and form, be reduced in the intensity and frequency but the amplitude of expectations is everlasting.

 I have heard people preaching the lessons of "Do not expect anything in a relationship". Really! I mean how in this world for a normal human being, is this statement valid? 
There are expectations in any sort of relationship. According to me, no matter how hard we try, we tend to expect or rather we should expect because having expectations and fulfilling each other's expectations is one of the binding forces of any relationship.

 The problem does not lie in having expectations from someone in a relationship, rather it is an unacceptance of the situation where the other is not able to fulfil it as it is something beyond his capacity or nature. It is when we become the slave of expectations and are unwilling to accepting the way the other person is. Hence we should understand that the universe not gonna change for us we need to adapt to it for our peace of mind.
We all are so different having the varied mindset and different streaks of nature and personality. Sometimes we are good to go along with each other and other times we do face conflicts and clashes. We always want another person to be able to understand and fulfil what is being expected out of him and when this falls short, the frustrations arise. And when a series of these events happen, we feel hurt and remorseful and in worst cases, call off the relationship.

 Unfulfilled expectations give rise to STRUGGLE.

 The relationship which once based on love and expectations now lies on the foundation of struggle.

 The struggle of being with a person who doesn't live up to our expectations

 The struggle of living with poles apart of mindset and ideology.

 The struggle of forced and conditioned attachments.

 And then, we tend to maintain distance with such a person by forgetting or overlooking the other dimensions of his/her personality.
The only way out is: Do not make EXPECTATIONS (or fulfilment of it) a basis of your relationship ever.

 Do not fear the expectations, have it fearlessly in a relationship but never make it the only basis of nurturing your relationship with. Do not make the fulfilment of expectations the only criterion of a healthy relationship.

  Also, do not be harsh on yourself by constantly seeking a hypothetical space or situation of a ZERO-STATE OF EXPECTATIONS as I would be impractical to advocate that.
Understand that trying to achieve this state, is an altogether unrealistic expectation of its own kind.

 Remember, seawater is not expected to quench the thirst yet it is important to behold numerous species and is home to a million precious elements, corals, pearls, etc.
And as the polluted water can't be put to any use but it can still be used to extinguish a fire, similarly, every relationship in our lives holds significance.

 Thus, only because of the other person's inability to suffice your expectations, in no way makes him unworthy to various other better things he is capable of.

 I am sure if we ask others, there might be many instances where we couldn't have lived up to their expectations, yet they love us and respect us for how we have been with them in a journey called LIFE.

 SO BE A BETTER PERSON AND RISE (ALSO LET OTHERS RISE) ABOVE ALL EXPECTATIONS.

 XOXO!
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Friday, May 3, 2019

EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION

EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION

"Manipulation, fuelled with good intent, can be a blessing. But when used wickedly, it is the beginning of a magician's karmic calamity."
                  _T.F. Hodge

 Manipulation can be seen both ways i.e. good or bad but for me, it is a deceitful trait which I can never be convinced of. We all have encountered manipulators at one or the other times in our lives and sometimes even being aware of their intent, we could do nothing but to nod our heads in their agreement. 

 Below are the signs of a person with the trait of 'Emotional Manipulation' :

  • They are usually the ones that love to blame others, give shame to them and make them sulk in the pain of guilt.

  • Use another person's emotions to the best of their abilities in order to feel superior.

  • They can even go to the level of overcomplimenting others so as to fulfil their desires.

  • They are intelligent enough to recognize your weaknesses and loopholes and target these in times they want you to behave their way.

  • They usually have a charming personality and often act hard to get.

  • If you don't act their way, they start ignoring you, argue and show their disagreement in an awful manner to the extent where you might start doubting yourself.

  • Very often, they throw burning touches of sarcasm on you as a sign of disagreement or display their sadistic side by pouring jokes at your expense.

  • They hold strong value for who they are and hence devalue what you do. In worst cases, have a Personality Disorder, where they tend to start with Emotional Blackmailing, which is their strongest weapon of all times.

  • They want a YES from your side to their every demand, they don't give you time to decide for the reciprocation and if you tend to reply it with a NO, they can't accept and start to yell.

  • Have self-interpretation of things and constantly try to mould things to look like a reflection of their own mindset.

  • Whenever you set boundaries or have your own firm decision which doesn't gel well with theirs, they start playing VICTIM CARD and make you count numerous concocted stories where they did so much for you and you did nothing for them. Can even go to the extent of cursing you for that matter.

  • Always ready with a ploy to play with your emotions and situations. Have a very strong conviction to make you fall for them but it is nothing but a facade.

  • And at times, when their tricks don't work, they try to negotiate with you but when world flips, they have their own set of excuses to give.

  • Highly self-obsessed beings and easily forget your contribution to the relationship and in their lives. They only remember the times when they were not served with the platter of their selfish needs.

It is like dealing with a child-like adult who never learnt boundaries and another person's space and right of saying a 'NO' and respect it. They are relentless, selfish and stony immature and thus you would always get a backlash from them whenever you try to go against them.
It becomes all the more intense when you are kind of a person who is insecure, co-dependent and have past wounds. In this case, you accept their cruelty and take it to yourself and thereby encourage them to continue being ruthless.

 Their happiness lies in the condition in which the other person behaves in accordance to their needs and aspirations and since you being a person who always wants to keep people around you happy and content, willingly make their happiness your purpose and do whatever it takes to suffice them.
How to defy the person with 'Emotional Manipulation'?


  • Do not hesitate to say this person a 'NO' when required.

  • Do not bother to justify yourself with an explanation to your reaction when you already know that the person is constantly trying to manipulate you. If it is really required, just conclude it with the shortest one.

  • Stop giving so much importance to such a person in the name of saving the relationship as if manipulation is the foundation of the relationship, then it is always better to go with the flow and let chips fall where they may.

  • If they can't respect you for who you are as a person and constantly make you feel shameful and guilty by putting blames on you, just slam the doors in their faces and make them realise that your life is yours and not the way they plan it to be.

  • Since they use the layers of tactics on you of their manipulation, just beware of their reach and level and hence try to make yourself strong enough to combat their blames and guilt trips. Learn to deal with it in a better and matured way.

  • Respect yourself and know your self-worth, only then you can tackle these emotional manipulators.

  • Break the cocoon of insecurities and people-pleasing attitude, this would consequently discourage the manipulators to make use of your wounded selves.

  • Always try to be ethically and consciously sound in relation to your deeds so that if someone tries to put blame on you or gives you guilt trips, you are confident about yourself and don't fall prey to their spiteful intentions.

  • Never seek approvals from this kind of people and hold your emotions when they play with their ultimate sword of emotional blackmailing. Know that is just illusory and temporary tactic.

  • Try not to be an extrovert and expressive to this kind of people as they very well know to make use of your weaknesses. Don't give them a chance to hit you with an arrow of your loopholes.

For all those Emotional Manipulators out there, remember that everyone has mind and intellect to figure this out who is manipulating to whom and to what extent. Even if not in the beginning but with the course of time, one gets to know that he/she is being emotionally manipulated. It's just that we choose relationship and love over this 'being manipulated'. This, in no way, should be taken as a sign of being dumb or stupid. It is our way of giving you repetitive chances to redeem yourselves and get on track else it doesn't take a second to step out of any relation while it takes a lifetime to nurture and preserve the bonds of love and trust.

So, BEWARE!!
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Tuesday, April 30, 2019

ACCEPTANCE.......'The Key To The Inner Peace.'

ACCEPTANCE.......'The Key To The Inner Peace.'

"As I get older, the more I stay focused on the ACCEPTANCE of myself and others, and choose compassion over judgement and curiosity over fear."
                                    -Tracee Ellis Ross.

 Whenever we meet people, we meet with a certain type of aura which we possess and hence, there occurs an exchange of energies the moment we start to gel with each other. There is both the influence and effect of respective auras to each other and this is what lays the foundation of any relationship.

 There is always an effect of one's vibrations to another in any relationship which we call as 'vibes'. And we can't control these and thus if you think ill about another person, the latter would consequently revert the negative vibes to you.

 The type of thinking we process is the type of aura we ultimately possess.

 In any relationship, if you hold unpleasant or nasty feelings for another, you can't share a good bond by faking it as the other person gets to feel that and there is always a sense of burden in such relation since the negative vibrations continue to exist amongst them.
It would not only affect the concerned relationship but also complicate your other relationships as well, as this is what you are carrying with you as a part of your aura. This is due to the fact that holding negative energies within you is just ruining your inner self and you will meet other people with such polluted being.

 The only way we can bring this to rest and stop degrading our relations and ourselves is to ACCEPT the things for what these are and the people for who they are.

 It is WE who are abusing our minds and nobody else because, in a relationship where we have lots of disagreements and resentment to another person, we constantly seek or urge the apology from them. And only because we don't accept the things and the other person, we continue to get hurt and frustrated by letting the power of hatred and aggression to override the pure essence, love and peace of the relationship.

 According to me, nobody in any relationship should be judged for having their own set of deal-breakers and deal-makers. Rather this should be given its due respect.

 After all, you can't retain one side of a person which you like and chunk out the other you don't. The same energy that creates the side of the person you love is also the one that creates the side that drives you crazy and demands your understanding.

 Any person in a relationship is like a coin has two sides. And therefore, every streak of personality should be accepted and given its due space and respect. Both liked and unliked habits in a person are inextricably linked, we can't separate these in the person. 
When I as a person is full of imperfections then how can I expect another one to be perfectly in line with what I expect him to be.

 Here I would also like to mention that I am not at all in favour of accepting the gross negative and universal ill traits which are unacceptable in any form and shape. I am only referring to accepting different people having different personality traits which may or may not correlate or correspond the way we want them to be.

 We need not change ourselves to be accepted by others nor we should expect others to change entirely to fit into our needs, it is that we just have to rub off our sharper edges to acclimatize to different and everchanging situations of our lives and with people, we care and love by accepting these in a form they naturally are.

 We need to accept them and situations, in order to deal with their respective idiosyncrasies as failure to do so, would cause conflicts and we may have to lose our loved ones in a way.

 We need to accept that many disagreements and conflicts are perpetual and may even last our entire lives. In such a situation, the only thing to remember is the significance of the relationship over the mere conflict.

 Also, there are times when even after investing so much of yourself and energy into a certain relationship, it no longer stays the way it meant to be, accept it. Do it for your own peace of mind as it is what keeps you going. You can't be stuck to such a situation where all is left with you is nothing but remnants of the bruised relationship.

 ACCEPTANCE is not a sign of weakness or helplessness but a synonym for WISDOM. It not only makes a person corresponds to the unwelcoming circumstances but also gives the conviction that if it is what meant to be, here I am to face it and henceforth, even if I can't change things, at least try to control the aftermath consequences which would be worse, by putting myself into more pain and anxiety.

 NON-ACCEPTANCE of things and situations leads to unnecessary contemplations and over pondering that sequentially leads to mental exhaustion and trauma. If we despair over situations and people, this feeling is alone sufficient to work like a magnet attracting even worse outcomes and therefore repelling better things which we could have fetched if we weren't on our non-acceptance and repent mode.

 Acceptance is all about growth. So Guys!
Choose acceptance and hence THE GROWTH.
As I conclude,

 "The greatest gift you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and ACCEPTANCE."
                                                                   -Brian Tracy.


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