Thursday, March 7, 2019

SELF-RESPECT versus EGO


Many of us have heard that self-respect and ego have a very thin line difference. And it is important to strike a balance so that one shouldn't appear to be an egoist.
But I totally disagree the above said as I believe that both these terms are antonyms and stand poles apart.
One is an independent entity while other is people dependent.
In my opinion, EGO is like a shadow which doesn't have any identity while SELF-RESPECT is like a source of light that enlightens one's soul. And as the shadow disappears in the dark, similarly in the low times of your life when there's no one to appreciate you, your ego gets shattered and you tend to feel doom and gloom.

An egoist would always want others to appreciate him, to acknowledge his work, to get lauded for his achievements so as to suffice his desire for superiority but deep down he feels hollow when there's nobody to do so and especially when he is alone. That is the time when your self-respect plays a role. A person with self-respect doesn't want anyone to sing a rhyme of his achievements to feel contented. He feels fulfilled in his very own shell because his core is strengthened by the strong values.
Self-respect renders you with utmost self-sufficiency and it further gives the person a sense of calmness and stability of mind, whereas a person with ego trips easily gets annoyed and irritated when he doesn't receive the required attention.

Ego is borne out of fear and insecurity. Fear of losing one's stand in the society, getting depreciated by others, a decline in the powers & authority, decrease in domination over others and so on & so forth; while none of the mentioned factors contributes to constitute the self-respect.
Self-respect is achieved by self-realization i.e. when you know who you are and what you deserve. Nobody in this world can tell you your worth. And if you seek others to let u know what you are worthy for then there is no achievement of self-respect rather the building of ego. What if someday these people stop respecting you and start degrading you, would you stop respecting yourself too??
That is the difference between the two. You don't need others to give you respect so then only you respect yourself. Also, you don't need to have unusual talents and vivacious personality for that matter as well. It is a self-liking attribute one has for the way he has always been and would be throughout his 'being', no matter what others think or the way they judge him.

When you are pissed off from somebody and say,  " You have hurt my self-respect ", it's a vague sentence as it is actually your ego getting hurt because it is the universal fact that we all have the ego, only the intensity and frequency differ. As in reality, nobody can hurt your self-respect because technically you are its controller and reserve all rights pertaining to it.

However, nowadays it has become essential to have EGO especially in the corporate world, as I have observed, people are scared of such person so that they don't mess it all, somehow hurt him and lose their positions in his good book. This, in turn, increases his ego to the next level.

According to me, Self-respect is above all. It paves way for one to be self-assured and self- dependent. This, in turn, increases the self-confidence which inculcates the self-trust within.
And such a person is self-motivated and self-driven. He doesn't require any second person to motivate or demotivate him. He knows his virtues as well as vices.
Whereas, if we talk about EGO, it is also a driving force, as many people who are ego-driven strives too hard to do anything it takes for them to reach the heights they desire for. And many do achieve the fruits of success as well. But once the ego gets shattered due to rejections, failures, insults, losses, etc., it becomes very hard for such people to gather the broken pieces of their marred ego.
Egoist person can't stand the defeats and collapses soon as he starts thinking about others and their opinions for him while a person with self-respect is irrespective of others' thought process and remains stable as he is confident enough to rise from the ashes.

So in the long run, it is the SELF-RESPECT that sustains as it is independent of others and you all know, respect can never be begged for, it is earned. You cannot control others' behaviour and the way they judge you in every way of life.
In this materialistic world people change as per their conveniences and so their way of giving respect to you, so why to give them that authority to make or break you by keeping tonnes of ego within yourself, shed it guys, life is way more beautiful than these superfluous ego trips ...........

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